Horror

The Golem

I love a good religiously themed movie, especially when it’s generally accurate. Now while I’m by no means an authority on Jewish mysticism, from what I looked into this seems like an accurate movie, and for that I was grateful.

The plot is actually decent, following a small Jewish town in Lithuania in the 1600s while a plague ravages the countryside. I don’t want to say too much, but it’s well worth your time to check out.

Child's Play (2019)

So ... ahh.... isn’t good. The actors were great, but the script and story made this thing unbearably rough. It made me really sad, because all the actors did a fantastic performance, and the cinematography is really really nice, but the writing tanked this so hard.

I laughed a lot, but not always at the intended spots. It’s not like I didn’t enjoy the comedy attempts, but some of it was awkward.

I honestly feel like I might enjoy it more the second time, but the plot of “AI toy goes rogue” is not a great one.

Brightburn

I was really excited to see this, and all in all I was happy with it.

The story is basically totally given away in the trailer, which if you are any good at guessing, you probably figured out.

Also for people who like guessing, the plot of the movie is laid out right off the bat in a scene showing how smart Brandon is.

The gore effects were great though, if that’s what you’re after you’re going to be really happy with the kills.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes

The only other documentary style horror I’ve seen to date had been Behind The Mask. While I strongly recommend that, I wouldn’t so much with The Poughkeepsie Tapes.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved this movie. Outside of the effects used to simulate the cheap VHS tapes, it was really good. However, it’s not comfortable material at all. Watching 1.5 hours of disturbing imagery that feels a little too close to what real life killers had done is a little heavy, especially considering the graphic nature of a lot of the themes.

Really wack, and until mid-late 2018, really hard to find too.

Pet Sematary (2019)

It should be noted, I haven’t seen the original before in it’s entirety. What I saw though, I wasn’t the biggest fan of, which is what brings us to this.

I don’t hold the same disdain for remakes that a lot of people seem to, so I didn’t go into this ready to hate it. I actually honestly had a rather good time with what I watched. It was tense, there were several good scenes, and I didn’t feel ripped off by the jump scares as much as other movies have made me feel.

I feel like if you went into this with no knowledge of the original, you would have very few complaints about it, since that’s where a majority of the issues people have will arise.

I call it worth watching

Us (2019)

I just wanna say that Us was a very good movie.

I feel like there was a really strong M. Night vibe to it in the best way. I don't want to get into the plot, but suffice it to say I greatly enjoyed the primary antagonist and cohorts.

On top of that the family feels like such a real family. They aren't mean to each other, they actually feel like good people that care about each other instead of the husband and wife constantly making remarks at each other, which is such a horror trope. There's another family that follows traditional tropes, and the stark contrast between them and the main family is just uncomfortable. Mad respect to Jordan Peele for writing real feeling characters.

Finally, keep you eyes open for all the fun Easter eggs. If you're familiar with the horror scene you'll pick up a lot of stuff throughout.

My Friend Dahmer

One of the last things I expected was to find a movie about Jeffery Dahmer that was good. Turns out this one was good because it’s based on a graphic novel written by one of his childhood best friends.

The acting is superb, and it’s really nice to see things that contributed to one of the more disturbing killers of modern America.

Don’t expect a slasher, this movie stops at the end of high school so you don’t see most of what Jeff does.

Murder Party

I knew I would have a blast with this, but I didn’t realize how much of a blast it’d be. If you need a good movie to laugh along with for your next Halloween party, I strongly recommend this one.

Who would go to something called a “Murder Party” that they find an invite for? Who knows man, but Christopher S. Hawley decided it was better sounding than a night in with his cat.

MP.jpg

Prom Night (1980)

So straight up, Jamie Lee Curtis looks way too freaking old to be in high school.  She was about 22 when the movie was released, but she looked almost 30.  It took me out of it a little since she looked like a peer to the people playing her parents rather than their child.

The plot was a little shaky too, I didn't really understand where they were trying to go with the leads they dropped, because looking back when the killer is revealed it just doesn't quite make sense.  It was a little weak is all.

I enjoyed watching it, but following up the day after Sleepaway Camp didn't help it feel better.

Sleepaway Camp

MV5BMGNkOWQzMzctZDE2OS00MGIyLTk2ODUtNzQyY2MzODViYjE4XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,641,1000_AL_.jpg

A YouTuber and Podcaster I follow had mentioned this movie a few times, and when I saw it was on Shudder I decided to finally check it out.  I'm glad I did, since it's a rather fun movie.

The effects in it are downright brutal at times, a few of the kills turned my stomach a little which isn't something that's happened recently.

The twist is something I did see coming though, from about a mile away.  It's not a bad twist, but it's not the most subtle buildup.  It didn't stop me from liking it though, I heavily recomend you check it out.

The Descent: Part 2

I feel like the person who wrote the script for this movie only watched half of the first one, consisting of  the very beginning, and the very end.  The first 2 thirds of the movie felt like the mid end of the original, and the last third felt like they shoehorned in some claustrophobia scenes to call back to the original while still maintaining the end pace.

It's a shame it turned out this way, as the original felt so raw and authentic in it's delivery.  This movie just couldn't live up to the energy and quality of the original, the ending made this and the previous film feel totally pointless.

 

Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon

In the same vein as Scream and Cabin In The Woods, Behind The Mask does a great job of being a reasonably self aware horror flick.  The documentary aspect is a great twist to add to a story that could feel overdone if you aren't careful, and it helped elevate this movie to a great level.

I enjoyed the various moments the movie referenced other killers as well.  It was especially amusing considering the cameos from Kane Hodder and Robert Englund.

The end came as a surprise as well, it made the movie feel worth the watch.

The Texas chainsaw Massacre (1973)

I'm really glad I finally was able to see the OG Texas Chainsaw.  I saw the remake a couple years back and, while I was impressed with how grisly it was, I appreciate it so much more now that I've seen the original.

This movie is just disturbing.  From the stories you hear from the set to the film itself it's just a wild ride from beginning to end.  I didn't really know what to expect when I was getting into it, but I'm 100% happy I finally took the time to watch it.

Anybody who calls themselves a horror fan should watch this, it's possibly the pinnacle of horror at the time and it's aged very well.

House Of 1000 Corpses

MV5BNjUyNjU0NDE0OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNzcwMzg3._V1_.jpg

As a fan of what Rob Zombie tries to do, I can understand that his movies tend to fall apart toward the end.

Everything about this movie made me think of Texas Chainsaw, which I suppose was the intention.  It made it a little weak in my opinion though, there was a lot of potential that, with this being Rob's first film, I feel missed the mark.

As with a lot of his media, Rob Zombie has a really uncomfortable sexual undertone to his movies.  I understand that's an element that horror tends to employ, but I feel Rob does it a little heavy handed.

And Doctor Satan?  Really?  Nice name dude.

Worth watching for the knowledge of having seen it, but I wouldn't see it twice.

My Bloody Valentine (2009)

MBV 09.jpg

Can we talk about bad remakes real quick?  Because this was a really bad remake my dude.

I was really excited about this since I really loved the original.  It had a cool idea, a solid remote setting, and a scary antagonist concept.

Unfortunately, the remake didn't really hit any of those points like you'd want.  There were some really awkward callback moments that didn't fit the feel of the movie.  It was so close to being a good reboot, but it majorly missed the mark.

Hereditary

Good lord, what a movie.  I had no clue what I was getting into, so big props to everybody involved in this movie, it was amazing.  It was produced by the same studio who was involved with The Witch if that tells you anything.

The actors and actresses all played their rolls perfectly, making a film with minimal score have a tension throughout that could be cut with a knife.  Honestly, the movie was oppressively tense the entire time, I loved it.

The movie was so beautifully shot as well.  Transition shots from day to night, integration with the model house in the beginning, it was just so good.

Take the time out of your week to see this masterpiece of film.  The trailer called it The Exorcist of my generation, and I'm willing to give it that title.  It's a film that broke some rules, and wasn't afraid to get it's hands dirty, and it worked for it so well.

Obviously though, don't be ignorant, you kinds shouldn't watch this.  I was at a midnight showing and there were kinds under the age of 10 there.  You may know you kids, but don't take them to this.

Lords Of Salem

Salem.jpg

I really wanted to love this movie, but there's a couple things I just couldn't get past

The main story arc, what with the title cards announcing the day, really felt like The Shining.  The vibes I got from that were really solid, and it just built tension the whole time.  All in all I loved the beginning and middle.

The end was where it lost me though.  I know Rob isn't one to have happy endings in his movies, but the visuals of the end just weren't my cup of tea.  Far too many naked people for my blood.

Rob Zombie get's a bad rap about his movies, but I honestly don't think he's too bad.  Give him a chance, just not on this one.

Sequence Break

MV5BYTM2Mzk1YzMtNmVlMS00MTAwLTg1NzQtOWM4M2I1MjM0MzhiXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTM4NTIzMTM@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,671,1000_AL_.jpg

In a movie that's 80 minutes I shouldn't be waiting for something to happen at the 40 minute point, or the 56 minute point still trying to figure out what's happening.

The movie was an absolute chore to get through, I'm not sure what they were going for when they made it.  The "twist" was incredibly predictable, the plot was impossible to follow, and it wasn't interesting at all.

I understand that they were going for a much more specific feeling in this, but I don't feel they hit the mark.  Maybe I'm not the intended audience.

I recommend that you skip this one.